


Lodging

by justdk



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Road Trips, it's not explicit but sexy stuff happens, mild panic attack, references to past trauma for neil and andrew, slightly nsfw?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justdk/pseuds/justdk
Summary: Andrew and Neil's impromptu stay at a sketchy roadside lodge has unpleasant consequences





	Lodging

**Author's Note:**

> Written to fulfill an anonymous prompt: "I like loved your Drowning fic with Andrew/Neil. Would you be willing to do something kind of similar? Like Andrew learning something about Neil because something triggers him? I love a good angsty fic with some good ol' comfort at the end."

The problem with freewheelin’ road trips was that you could end up in the middle of nowhere, exhausted and hungry, with no cell coverage and no fucking clue if the next town over would have better accommodations or not.

Andrew eyed the Shady Pines Motorlodge. It wasn’t the worst place he’d seen but it wasn’t nearly as nice as the cozy B&B he and Neil had crashed at a couple nights ago. Neil bit at his cuticles and scrutinized the place like it was an enemy encampment.

“I don’t know, Andrew,” Neil said. “It looks pretty sketchy.”

Andrew tilted his head to the side, acknowledging that the lodge did look sketchy. “It has a pool, though.”

“Do you think they clean it?”

“I’ll take a long shower afterwards,” Andrew assured him. Neil rolled his eyes but didn’t smile. He was too busy chewing on his cheek. “I don’t want to spend another night in the car and the map shows the next largish town isn’t for…” Andrew peeked at the map, “fifty miles. If we don’t get lost again.”

“We weren’t lost,” Neil argued.

“We ended up on a dirt road on top of a mountain.”

“And climbed up a fire tower! C’mon, you know it was awesome.” Neil leaned across the center console, grinning like their little detour hadn’t cost them two hours and stranded them at this wayside motel.

“It was kind of awesome,” Andrew muttered. He tapped his thumb on the steering wheel and asked again, “So, what do you think?”

Neil scrunched his nose up and sighed. “I don’t like it but… I can’t give you a logical reason why sleeping in the car would be better than this.”

Andrew frowned. “That’s not very convincing, Neil.”

“It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

“ _Neil_.”

“Ugh! Okay, honestly, this place freaks me out but this might be a good time for me to work through some… baggage.” Neil squinted at the lodge. His behavior reminded Andrew of Neil’s early days with the team, when he was continually on the watch for threats. Those habits hadn’t completely gone away but after the death of his father and Riko Neil had mellowed. Andrew didn’t like this resurgence of Neil’s rabbit-like wariness but he was too tired to argue it further.

They parked in front of the motel and went into the lobby to get a room. A middle-aged woman sat behind the desk, flipping through a magazine. Neil hung back, his eyes taking in all the details of the decidedly retro establishment; Andrew doubted that it had been redecorated since the seventies.

Andrew and the woman went through the usual negotiation: her trying to give him a room with two beds, him insisting that one bed was fine and that it had to be in a smoking room. Neil whispered in Andrew’s ear, reminding him to ask if they could get the room at the end of lodge. The woman eyed Neil’s scarred face with barely disguised distaste before sighing and acting extremely put out by the entire transaction. Andrew gritted his teeth and paid with his card, collected the key, and pulled Neil out of the lobby, their fingers laced together in full view of the woman.

Their room smelled like thirty plus years of cigarette smoke, lilac air fresheners, and stale potpourri. The shag carpet was an odd shade of golden brown and the walls had wood paneling and were decorated with faded watercolors of forest scenes. Andrew was just thankful that there was no camouflage or stuffed deer heads. He set their bags on the orange (of course it was _orange_ ) chenille bedspread while Neil went about inspecting the room like he was Jason Bourne.

“Okay, there are windows at the front,” Neil said, “one in the bathroom, and there’s a backdoor that leads to a little patio looking out on the woods. Standard locks on the windows, the backdoor only opens from the inside and it has a latch. Front door unlocks with the key and has a chain lock, too.” Neil drummed his fingers over his thighs and scanned the room again, probably sizing up what furniture could be used as weapons.

“Are you expecting an ambush?” Andrew asked. Neil startled and flushed guiltily.

“It doesn’t hurt to be prepared,” he mumbled.

Andrew walked over to Neil and took hold of his restless hands. “Neil, no one knows we’re here. And no one is looking. You have four layers of protection: Stuart, Ichirou, the FBI, and me. No one is coming for you.”

Neil closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, exhaling for a ten count. “Yeah.” His voice was quiet. “I know.”

Andrew wrapped his arms around Neil and held him until he felt Neil relaxing. He hadn’t been like this at the bed and breakfast or when they had to sleep in the backseat of the Maserati, not that there was much sleep to be had. Something about this place was needling Neil but Andrew wasn’t going to press; if Neil wanted to share he would. Hopefully.

“Let’s raid the vending machine and hit the pool,” Andrew said. Neil nodded against his shoulder and stepped back, still looking spooked.

Andrew quickly changed into his black Hurley swim trunks and a black T-shirt. He gave his armbands and knives to Neil for safe keeping since Neil refused to go swimming. Neil exchanged his jeans for a pair of worn Adidas track pants and pulled on an enormous hoodie he had “borrowed” from Matt. He looked like a sad hoodlum. Andrew wasn’t sure if the outfit was meant to hide Neil’s scars or if he really felt more comfortable in it.

The vending machine was filled with a surprisingly good selection of junk food. Andrew fed it quarters and handed Neil the spoils: Little Debbie cakes, Goldfish crackers, Oreos, Starbursts, and Skittles. Neil selected the blueberry Pop-Tarts and stuffed all the food into the front of his hoodie, making him look like a kangaroo. Andrew took a picture while Neil wasn’t looking.

“Kevin will kill us when we get back,” Neil said as he followed Andrew to the pool. He set their snacks on the poolside table and opened up the Pop-Tarts. Andrew got to work on the Little Debbie cakes.

“He’ll only know if you tell him,” Andrew replied. It had been ages since he had eaten Swiss Rolls and he was going to cherish this reunion.

After devouring about half the sweets Andrew hopped into the pool. It was maybe twelve feet in length and went from four feet to six feet in depth. Andrew hissed as the water lapped against his chest. Even in the middle of summer the pool was icy.

Neil rolled up his pants to his knees and sat at the edge of the pool, dangling his legs in the water. He kept his sleeves down, letting them swallow his scarred hands. Andrew floated on his back, kicking his legs lazily and watching Neil out of the corner of his eye. Neil smoked from Andrew’s pack of cigarettes and occasionally scanned the area, trying to be subtle about it. He flinched whenever someone drove by and tried to hide the reaction as a stretch or a shift in position. Andrew sighed and ducked beneath the water, letting the cold and silence momentarily sooth his Neil-related anxiety. He surfaced next to Neil and bit him on the knee.

Neil yelped and nearly dropped the cigarette. Andrew rested his chin on Neil’s thigh and wrapped his hands around Neil’s impeccably toned calves.

“What is this, Shark Week?” Neil asked. He passed Andrew the cigarette, holding it to his lips while Andrew took a drag.

“Can’t help myself,” Andrew answered, “you look good enough to eat.”

Neil tipped his head back and laughed. “Oh yeah?”

Andrew stared up at him and then between Neil’s legs. “Yeah.” Neil dunked him under the water.

—-

The cramped shower had not been built for two but Andrew made it work. Neil’s fingers tugged at his hair and his knees slipped over the slick, soapy bottom of the tub. He could barely hear Neil over the patter of the water, could barely hear Neil moan his name. He glanced up to find Neil’s eyes fixed on him, his auburn hair wet and tangled and falling around his face. Andrew scraped his nails over Neil’s hip and watched him fall apart.

—-

If Andrew had thought that getting Neil off in the shower would take his mind off of whatever was troubling him, he was wrong. For a time Neil was quiet and lazy, curled up next to Andrew on the stiff, white sheets. They watched old reruns on the ancient TV. “The Matrix” came on after ten and it felt so out of place in the time-forgotten room that it made Andrew’s skin crawl. He and Neil shared cigarettes and Andrew drank a couple fingers of whiskey; Neil refused the alcohol.

Andrew fell asleep at some point and woke up to find Neil sitting at the end of the bed, fully dressed. The TV was on but muted. An old black and white film played, Andrew thought it was “The Maltese Falcon.” Neil cupped a burning cigarette between his hands.

“Neil?” Andrew asked, his voice hoarse.

Neil turned and offered him a small, half-smile. “Hey, go back to sleep.”

Andrew propped himself up. “What’re you doing?”

“Can’t sleep. Want me to turn off the TV?”

Andrew shook his head and studied Neil. He looked edgy, wired. Andrew’s eyes felt gritty from lack of sleep and he could barely keep them open. Neil leaned over the mattress and gently bumped their foreheads together.

“Sleep, Drew,” Neil murmured. Andrew slept.

—-

The next time Andrew woke it was to the smell of coffee and the quiet gurgle of the coffee maker. Neil stood next to the sink, his head bowed over his phone. Andrew feigned sleep, watching to see what Neil would do next. Once the coffee was finished brewing Neil turned around and poured himself a cup. That’s when Andrew noticed the object stuck in the waistband of Neil’s jeans. He hadn’t known that Neil had brought a gun on their trip; he thought the weapon was stowed in the safe at Wymack’s apartment. Neil took his coffee over to the chair in the corner of the room. He set the gun in his lap and sipped the coffee, his knee jiggling up and down.

Andrew glanced at the bedside alarm clock. _4:14am_. He groaned loud enough for Neil to hear him and sat up, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. When he lowered his hands the gun was hidden.

“Save any coffee for me?” Andrew asked, leveraging himself off the bed. Neil nodded, his movements jerky. “Great.”

Andrew shuffled over and poured the remainder of the coffee into the other cup and took a drink. It was bitter and awful. He swallowed the rest of it in two fast gulps, like downing cough syrup but worse. He filled the cup with tap water and drank that to clear some of the taste from his mouth.

“I think that coffee must have been here since this place was built,” Andrew commented. He eased over to sit on the edge of the bed, close to Neil but not crowding him. Neil nodded and took a fake sip of the coffee. Andrew tried to relax and not get Neil’s guard up any worse than it already was. He hadn’t seen Neil this paranoid since Riko was alive. “So,” Andrew leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, “what’s going on? And don’t say ‘nothing’ or ‘I’m fine’ because that’s bullshit.”

Neil mirrored Andrew’s posture, leaning forward. He sat on the edge of the chair, like he was ready to jump into action at any moment. Neil swallowed some more coffee and grimaced. “This shit is terrible,” he agreed and set the cup on the nightstand. Finally he met Andrew’s gaze. Neil’s eyes were bloodshot with deep bags under them. His lips were chapped and bleeding a little from where Neil had peeled or bitten the dead skin away. He had _not_ been like this before they arrived.

“The truth is,” Neil said with a heavy voice barely cracked above a whisper, “my mom was fatally wounded in a motel like this.” He paused and stared blankly at the walls, as if he was reliving that scene. “We found a place like this, small, no cameras, out of the way. Paid in cash. We took all the precautions, casing it, checking the room, making sure we had multiple exits. They came in the night. We were both asleep.” Neil clasped his trembling hands together and breathed hard. Sweat beaded on his forehead and upper lip. “I should have kept watch. My mom, she said it would be okay but it _wasn’t_.” Neil’s knuckles were white, his breathing harsh. Andrew wanted to tell him to stop, that he didn’t have to relive this, that they could just leave but Neil seemed trapped in the remembering. “They came through the front door and the back. We were wearing vests, that’s the only reason I’m still breathing.” Neil touched his chest and coughed. “It happened so fast. I got one guy, my mom got two but not before she had sustained more injuries than we could fix. One person got away… and it was too late, Andrew. My mom was _dying_ and I couldn’t do anything!” Neil shuddered violently and Andrew was there, pulling him close, rubbing his hands over Neil’s back, trying to calm him. Neil buried his head against Andrew’s chest, his hair damp with sweat. His breath came in wet gasps and Andrew carefully pushed Neil’s head between his knees and counted out breaths for him. Gradually Neil started to breath easier.

Andrew knelt in front of Neil and quietly whispered assurances, reminding him that all the bad people were dead, that no one could touch him now, that Andrew would never let anyone hurt him again. Which made Neil cry and clutch Andrew’s shoulders, his tear-streaked face pressed into Andrew’s neck.

“Shhh,” Andrew hushed him, “I got you, baby, I got you.”

Neil muttered something unintelligible.

“What?” Andrew asked. He leaned back a little and Neil looked at him with a look that Andrew had never wanted to see again – it was that ravaged look that Neil had when… _after_ Drake.

“Can we go?” Neil asked, his tone pleading.

“Yes.” Andrew didn’t bother saying more. He got Neil on his feet and quickly threw their clothes and other items into the duffle bags. He left the key on the nightstand; that would have to serve as their check out procedure.

“Gun?” Andrew asked, holding his hand out. Neil looked only a little surprised as he pulled the gun from behind his back and handed it over. Andrew made sure the safety was on and shoved it to the bottom of Neil’s bag. They would have to talk about that later. Andrew swung both bags over his left shoulder and wrapped his right arm around Neil, hugging him briefly before escorting him outside.

The parking lot was only half full. Out here in the mountains the stars were bright in the clear sky. It was so quiet, the trees sighed in the wind and Andrew could hear the call of night birds. He walked Neil to the passenger’s side, unlocked the doors, and got Neil settled, handing him his duffle and throwing the other in the backseat. He hurried over to the driver’s side, shivering in the late night/early morning chill. Once the car was started he switched on the heat, aiming the vents at Neil, and pulled out onto the empty road.

—–

Andrew drove for the rest of the night, following signs back to the interstate and from there to Columbia. They made it to the house before noon, stopping only a couple times to refuel and get food. Neil was quiet, sleeping off and on. He never asked where they were going, though it soon became clear that they were ending their trip a few days early and heading home.

They were both exhausted by the time they made it up to their bedroom. Andrew locked the door and pulled the blinds down. He crashed onto the bed, breathing in the familiar scent of home. Neil kicked off his shoes and jeans and got under the covers, his body shivering a few times as he nestled in. He was asleep within minutes and Andrew, satisfied that Neil was safe, finally let his heavy eyes close.

When they both woke up it was dark outside. Sounds drifted in their room from downstairs, the faint rumble of conversation spoken above the drone of the TV. Neil was lying on his back staring up at the ceiling. Andrew stirred and Neil turned to look at him. He seemed tired but mostly back to normal.

“I’m sorry,” Neil said. He rolled over onto his side, his arms pulled up in front of his chest. “Are you mad at me?”

Andrew moved to mirror Neil, their knees touching. “No,” Andrew replied. “I’m mad at myself. I knew you weren’t comfortable there but I still thought we should stay.”

“I didn’t say no,” Neil reminded him.

Andrew frowned. “It wasn’t a yes. I put you in a place that triggered you and that’s not okay.”

“Andrew.” Neil sat up and leaned against the headboard. “I’m an adult. I could have flat out refused to stay there but…” he smoothed his hands over the sheets, “I wanted to try to get over that experience. I thought I could tough it out. Like you.”

Andrew sighed and rubbed his palm over his mouth. “You think I have all my shit figured out, Neil?” Andrew’s voice was low and rough. “I can’t abide hearing you say a word that is so common little kids are taught it from square one. I’m in _therapy_ and I’m still not over so many things. I know you don’t believe in what Bee does, or you think it won’t work for you, but you can’t force yourself to be better.”

Neil drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “You are angry.”

“I’m not.” Andrew took a deep breath. “I’m not angry with you, Neil. I’m frustrated and I want you to get better and I want to help you get better. But when you’re not honest… it’s like having my hands tied.” Andrew sat up and faced Neil. “Baby, you brought a gun and you didn’t tell me. Hey—” Andrew place his hand on Neil’s cheek and turned his face towards him, “I’m not mad at you. Okay?”

Neil nodded and blinked away tears that were gathering in his eyes. “I don’t know why I brought it,” Neil mumbled. “I guess, I thought you had your knives. What did I have if you were in danger? If someone came for us? It’s the fucking backwoods of America, people do crazy shit all over the place and even without people wanting to kill me there are still random homicidal people out there.”

“I get that,” Andrew said. “You want to bring the gun, that’s totally fine with me. Just tell me next time, alright?” Neil nodded. “And get a concealed carry permit. That’s all we need, our criminal asses getting busted by the cops with a gun in the car. Is it even registered?”

“Yeah, Ichirou gave it to me.”

Andrew swore and Neil laughed a little. They sat in silence for several moments, looking at each other, letting the tension dissipate.  

“What’ll we tell the others?” Neil asked.

“I’m going to tell them I missed my coffee and my bed and that is the damn truth,” Andrew answered. Neil smiled warmly and grabbed Andrew hand, pressing a quick kiss to his knuckles.

“Breakfast for dinner?” Neil asked as he slid off the bed.

Andrew stretched, hearing his joints pop. “Breakfast for dinner,” he agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this was tough because I had Andrew doing some things that could be OOC: 1) staying at the lodge even though Neil isn’t comfortable there and 2) the shower scene. Under the circumstances of being tired/not as sharp/not realizing the full extent of Neil’s discomfort I thought maybe Andrew would choose to stay there instead of pushing through and trying to find somewhere else to stay/sleeping in the car. As for the shower scene, again, Andrew not knowing Neil’s state of mind (though of course they went through their usual consent conversation which I didn’t include for the sake of brevity) and wanting to help Neil feel more relaxed… maybe it could happen. Basically this was a learning experience for both of them because they don’t have a perfect relationship and they’ll make mistakes. All this to say I’m still like ???? about this prompt. And I couldn’t remember the details of how Neil’s mom died so just take that bit with a grain of salt
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @dkafterdark


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